Here’s the tea: you can spice things up in the bedroom without twisting yourselves into pretzels. The Starfish is a comfy, feel-good sex position, particularly if one of you prefers shallow penetration – or the giver has a larger than average penis! So, lie on your back with your legs spread and let your partner take the lead, or vice versa; it’s perfect for relaxed, sensual play.

Read on to find out what the Starfish sex position is, and which variations might make it work for you. Get tips on making this position even more seductive and pleasurable, too.

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A naked illustrated couple lying down together in the Starfish sex position.

How to do the Starfish sex position

Before you begin, slather some lube onto the giver’s penis or sex toy. “Lube is essential,” says Jessica O’Reilly, PhD (aka Dr. Jess), a relationship expert and sexologist. Any natural wetness you get from the vulva can dry up, even if you get really aroused during foreplay. Lube keeps things smooth and pleasurable for even longer, especially when you’re trying new angles, explains Dr. Jess.

To get into the Starfish sex position, the penetrating partner will lie back with their arms and legs spread like a starfish – hence the name. The receiver slides onto the penis or strap-on, facing their partner (think: Cowgirl position but with your knees bent in a squat). Then, the receiver leans slowly backwards until they’re lying flat or propped up on their elbows.

Expert advice: If you’re playing with a strap-on, opt for soft, flexible dildo that allows the giver to comfortably lean back. And be prepared to make some tweaks to find the perfect angle!

Either way, you won’t have loads of leverage for thrusting, so try wiggling your hips slowly and find the motion that works for you both. “You can hold hands or intertwine your legs (the upper partner can slide one leg under the lower partner’s leg) to get closer,” says Dr. Jess.